Tough love

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Yesterday I was talking about seeking approval. Today I want to outline what we can do to help others get the clarity and direction they may need.

The greatest gift we can give is the power to succeed.

Its easy to give a compliment – but this doesn’t help you grow especially if growth comes form pain. (I tried not to use the actual cliche there)!

We learn better from pain rather than just being told we doing well. So help those around you.

1st – Affirm the goal: For example – You are still going to be a Marine Biologist!

Then – Question their thoughts and comments – Are they on or off track to get there?

If they have doubt, ask: “Why do you think you are off track?”

Get them to self-evaluate – listen to the bullshit excuses and allow them to hear it for themselves.

The “aha” moment.

Now that they are set up you can apply one of the following 3 choices:

  1. 1st person – Tell them the screw up stories you had in your life – confess to help them save their egos.
  2. 3rd person – Did I ever tell you about… – mention a person and their failures.
  3. “Come to Jesus moment” – when you do the hard line. Point out the problem and then hit it square on.

Whichever of the above you choose (or even if you apply all 3) is not important, what is important is that if you choose to help someone honestly and directly or its a waste of your and their time.


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